Saturday, February 21, 2009

WTF is YOUR Life Purpose?

Oh yea, guess who had to write a "WTF IF YOUR LIFE PURPOSE" essay for engslish.
*raises hand*
Here it is, just because I like putting things i write on my blog. So HA Mrs Herman

We often look upon the face of another and believe that we know who they are. They say not to judge a book by its cover, yet judging based on first appearance is exactly what people do to form their view of someone. You can’t really know another person without being in their head and living their life, because the entirety of who a person is goes far beneath what they choose to display on the outside. When the sum of one’s own being is truly known, only then can you begin to comprehend the reason for your existence, or your purpose in life.

If you looked at me under the most scrutinizing microscope, what, or more importantly, who would you see? From my surface easily recognizable, petty things can be made out, but who am I really? I am Breanne Jennifer Kincaid, but I am also much more than a name. I was born in Woodland Hills, yet even in life so far I have come to explore areas that are both farther away and uncomfortably close. I believe a person cannot be simply defined as a body and the sum of its experiences. Who a person truly is goes unfathomably deeper into areas that they themselves may not even be able to see. Internal aspects such as fears and passions can help mold the interpretation of how we see ourselves as really being. I hold many irrational fears, most of which I don’t know the reason for. I am a complication of minute phobias and paranoia. I second guess my actions and thoughts to the point where I don’t know what is up and what is down. In this confusion though, a few rays of stability shine through and anchor me as a person, which are my passions. The strongest of these is my love for the Lord and my knowledge that He is walking beside me and will guide me through even the hardest times. I look at the world through the lens of a camera, always striving to capture the simple beauties and pleasures in life, such as the comfort of listening to the heartbeat of someone you love, knowing that they are alive in the same moment as you. What is the definition of a life though, without a purpose?

In a world where it seems like defined life purposes are reserved for great people like politicians or athletes, it can be hard to see what your own life will reveal and what you will accomplish. Despite this, I believe that everyone was put on Earth with a purpose, regardless of weather or not they know what that purpose is. I struggle to define my purpose in life because I’m not yet at a point where I entirely know who I am. So much can happen in the span of a few short months or years, as time has showed me over and over again. You never know where you will wind up, or if your endless planning for the future will take you in the direction you desire. For this reason, I leave my future and my purpose in this life up to God. I firmly believe that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (phi 4:13), and I know that His plan for me will be fulfilled if He has control over my life. With the eager eyes of a child I look to my future and marvel at what, by God’s hands, I will become and achieve.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Reflections

And so 2008 comes to a close.

My goodness, what a rollercoaster of a year. I highly doubt i have felt so many emotions in one short span of time. I'm not sure weather or not im looking foreward to 2009, but i might as well start off the new year by reflecting on the last one.

January was a pretty uneventful month for me. Got back in school, at the end of the month we got new classes. Not something that i wouldve thought to have such a great impact on my life. Ha.

February brought more that i could ever imagine. It all started with a valentine. Or maybe an email. Yea, i think it was the email, because that was the first time i really talked to jesse. Who knew that one dork in my english class would become my greatest friend, my poet, my guardian angel, and so much more.

March brought more of the same; classes, homework, and jesse. Through English class, i learned more than any other class that year. Mrs Brown was, and probably still is, the most amazing teacher to have ever graced her students with knowledge. March brought feelings that I never thought I would have. March brought love.

April. Springtime. A perfect time to learn to fly, and that’s what I did. I flew. I slowly came to accept that maybe, just maybe, im not the horrible disgusting creature I had always seen myself as. Maybe, just maybe.. I was worth something. April brought moonlit lakes, white forests, dance halls, and intertwined fingers.

May brought a moment I will never forget, my first kiss. It’s strange how things happen so fast, yet so painfully slow at the same time. May held so much; secret smiles, hidden hands, ipod and bracelettes. Thank god for ipods and bracelettes. May also brought the move, and the possibility of another unthinkable move. While I changed streets, jesse brought it to my attention that he could possibly change countries. And there I was, thinking the idea would fall through..

June. Its not until now, as I’m writing this, that I realize how little of my thoughts and actions centered around school, friends, or anything other than jesse. We were inseparable. The end of school brought tragedy. Mrs Brown’s husband died, as well as a friend, Rick Young. June showed me that bad things happen to good people. June showed me that people are strong.

July was indeed the best month. July brought summer, and all the clichés with it. July brought dancing in the rain, or as close as you could get to it. July brought simple pleasures. Heartbeats, warmth, smiles…July brought knowledge. The first countdown until the not-so-last time I’d be with jesse. July came, and july went. As did my world.

August was the hardest month for me, and I say that because I cant remember it at all. When things go wrong, I shove them deep inside the crevices of my mind and don’t let them out for remembering. August brought separation, dread, and the best fake smiles that have crossed my lips to date.

September brought relief. September showed me that time can heal, though it was time that was doing the hurting as well. I gained optimism from September. With my family doing better financially, my parents stopped fighting as much, which I suppose also made the optimism easier.

October was much of the same. Live day by day, struggle through a mountain of homework, and smile (or at least try to). October brought homecoming, Halloween, and tears. Ha, every month brought tears. Funny that I choose now to say that.

November was repetitive. The first half of the school year could be described as just that, repetitive. Wake up, school, smile, sleep, repeat. Oh, and don’t forget to breathe.

December. The last month of the year, and probably the most confusing. December brought fights, falls, and disgust. Not to mention my birthday. December brought cracks that opened a little wider, and the desires that pulled newly built walls to the ground. But most of all, December brings a new open door. December brings the end of an insane year, and the hope of what 2009 will bring.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Toffee

Toffee is delicious. Chocolate covered toffee – the surprise kind that’s lying out on the table and could just as well be chocolate covered anything else – is deliciouser. Maybe its just because I’m sick and have been living off chicken noodle soup and water for the past few days, I don’t know. All I’m certain of, in this moment, is that chocolate covered toffee is the most delicious thing to have caressed its sweet flavour over my tongue in the past few months.
yum.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Hellz Yes for Fun Days

(wewt for my first blog entry in like 2 months)
Today was the most randomly (ok, maybe not the most) fun day I’ve had in a loooong time.

You know California has good weather when the main topic in English class is how it hailed (for all of half a minute) before school started. During said hail session, I had a very interestingly ironic one sided conversation with my friends. [yes, I do have friends. Shocking, ik]

Me: Is it hailing?
*Gets hit in the head with one*
Me: Yup, that’s hail
*people running under cover and freaking out*
Me: Why is everyone freaking out, its just hail
*gets hit in the eye with a piece*
Me: AAAARH o.<

Continuing on with the oh so joyous day, I got my secret santa gift at lunch, and received a peace necklace, cute earrings, lotion and peppermint chapstick (hell. yes.)

So then at bio recentlynicebrian was joking around with me and alice and nick and not being nearly as rude or obnoxious as he usually is. In fact, he’s taken up the habit of annoying me by invading my foot space under my desk so I have to sit uncomfortably. That lil issue escalated today so that I had alice’s, nick’s and brian’s feet all on my desk. What an invasion of my personal bubble.
Anyways, we had a lab today and got to pick our own groups (which means no hannah :D ). It was this micropipetter DNA gel electrophoresis lab thing that they use in CSI a lot so I felt all cool and sciencegeniusy.

Then at soccer practice we had a light day so me & cassie acted like dorks and shot on goal. I was her goalie for a bit and danced in the net to distract her (note to goalies out there: this is not a smart idea). After she missed the goal a lot of times I decided to sit Indian style on the ground and wait for her to make one in, which actually took a long time considering she only had to make it past a 2 ft tall goalie.

After that practice was over I went to the mall to get my sister’s bday/christmas present and a secret santa gift for a girl on my soccer team when just about the coolest thing ever happened. This chick walked up to me and asked how old I was and I was all o.0 16 and then she asked me if I’ve ever modeled before and told me about this modeling thing Sunday and gave me an invitation. Too bad I have to sell freaking mistletoe at the mall with my softball team at the exact same freaking time. Plus my mom said I couldn’t go anyways, because she thinks the world is out to rape me. *nods*

So with the addition of el pollo loco for dinner, that was my day in a nutshell.
Hoorah for me.
Now im going to go get some water. Bai.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

CONVO OVERFLOW

My blog is being raped my funny IM conversations. If you dont think theyre funny, then go feed your monkey a banana.


Dying to Promise (10:11:26 PM): tonight's the kind of night where i know i'm gonna stare at the ceiling and run through my head everything that went wrong
FallnAngl651 (10:11:45 PM): :\
FallnAngl651 (10:11:49 PM): thats notta fun kinda night
FallnAngl651 (10:11:59 PM): what if you listen to music or something
Dying to Promise (10:11:59 PM): tis why imma be up til you go. :P
FallnAngl651 (10:12:01 PM): happy music
Dying to Promise (10:12:06 PM): ipod
FallnAngl651 (10:12:09 PM): oh.....
Dying to Promise (10:12:12 PM): rofl
FallnAngl651 (10:12:13 PM): ima smart one
FallnAngl651 (10:12:14 PM): XD
Dying to Promise (10:12:14 PM): yup
Dying to Promise (10:12:18 PM): it's ok
Dying to Promise (10:12:24 PM): i don't know how much it'd help
Dying to Promise (10:12:31 PM): cuz like, it's just noise sorta.
FallnAngl651 (10:12:53 PM): tuneouteable
FallnAngl651 (10:12:59 PM): unlike the meebo beeps
FallnAngl651 (10:13:06 PM): beep
FallnAngl651 (10:13:08 PM): beep
FallnAngl651 (10:13:09 PM): beep
Dying to Promise (10:13:09 PM): PING
Dying to Promise (10:13:11 PM): PING
FallnAngl651 (10:13:12 PM): PING
Dying to Promise (10:13:14 PM): XD
FallnAngl651 (10:13:15 PM): whateverrrrr
Dying to Promise (10:13:17 PM): rofl
FallnAngl651 (10:13:18 PM): same difference
FallnAngl651 (10:13:22 PM): (beep)
Dying to Promise (10:13:23 PM): it sounds like a ping
Dying to Promise (10:13:26 PM): PING
Dying to Promise (10:13:28 PM): :P
FallnAngl651 (10:13:31 PM): it does sound like a ping
FallnAngl651 (10:13:32 PM): but
FallnAngl651 (10:13:35 PM): ima noise rebel
Dying to Promise (10:13:36 PM): hha
FallnAngl651 (10:13:37 PM): so there
Dying to Promise (10:13:43 PM): WHATEVER
Dying to Promise (10:13:47 PM): rebels will be eliminated
Dying to Promise (10:13:53 PM): :P
FallnAngl651 (10:14:07 PM): nu uh
FallnAngl651 (10:14:09 PM): fight the man
Dying to Promise (10:14:20 PM): i am the man
Dying to Promise (10:14:30 PM): bow down :P
Dying to Promise (10:14:33 PM): son,
FallnAngl651 (10:14:33 PM): :o
FallnAngl651 (10:14:36 PM): hey
FallnAngl651 (10:14:40 PM): last time i checked
FallnAngl651 (10:14:44 PM): i had no penis
FallnAngl651 (10:14:45 PM): so
FallnAngl651 (10:14:49 PM): *isnottason*
Dying to Promise (10:14:54 PM): have you checked recently?
Dying to Promise (10:14:56 PM): i mean
Dying to Promise (10:14:58 PM): can you validate
Dying to Promise (10:15:06 PM): that that's not changed in the last ten minutes?
Dying to Promise (10:15:09 PM): XD
FallnAngl651 (10:15:09 PM): no
FallnAngl651 (10:15:11 PM): i cannot
FallnAngl651 (10:15:16 PM): but if you really want me to
FallnAngl651 (10:15:19 PM): i can check now
Dying to Promise (10:15:20 PM): nope
FallnAngl651 (10:15:21 PM): rofl
FallnAngl651 (10:15:24 PM): XD!!
Dying to Promise (10:15:26 PM): i'll take ur word for it
Dying to Promise (10:15:28 PM): :P
FallnAngl651 (10:15:30 PM): good
Dying to Promise (10:15:31 PM): breanne
FallnAngl651 (10:15:31 PM): choice
Dying to Promise (10:15:32 PM): i do believe
Dying to Promise (10:15:41 PM): that's the weirdest convo we've ever had.
FallnAngl651 (10:15:53 PM): i do believe
FallnAngl651 (10:15:56 PM): youre correct

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Little Hard of Hearing?

GAH, i've had so much homework lately that it leavs my brian fried and void of any room left to rant. Because of this unfortunate even, ive decided to (yet again) post a conversation that i find funny. At the time it was unbelievably annoying, but hey, thats what parents are for.

*enter dad*
Dad: How was your test today?
Me: I don’t know, we don’t get them back for a while
Dad: What did you have to do on it? Write?
Me: no
Dad: Fill in boxes?
Me: Multiple choice
Dad: What?
Me: Multiple choice
Dad: What?
Me: MULTIPLE CHOICE
Mom: Tell him I said hi
Me: . . . . . . . . . . ?
Mom: Didn’t you say you were talking to troy?
Me: *headdesk*

Friday, October 17, 2008

AIM Joys

Kristen is literally the craziest person to have an im conversation with. I don’t know if it’s because I’m delirious from lack of sleep, or if this convo is actually funny, but when I reread this it pretty much makes my day
XD

Ultimagal (7:48:59 PM): dude its danicas birthday
FallnAngl651 (7:49:41 PM): i knooooooooooooooooow
FallnAngl651 (7:49:44 PM): :o
Ultimagal (7:49:55 PM): one more year and we can do donuts in the car
FallnAngl651 (7:50:08 PM): rofl
FallnAngl651 (7:50:11 PM): yes you can XD
FallnAngl651 (7:50:13 PM): actually
FallnAngl651 (7:50:18 PM): i wouldnt get in the car with her
FallnAngl651 (7:50:19 PM): hahaha
FallnAngl651 (7:50:35 PM): danica is gonna be an even scarier driver than i am
FallnAngl651 (7:50:35 PM): lol
Ultimagal (7:50:56 PM): shes go 500 miles per hour
FallnAngl651 (7:51:10 PM): ik hahaha
Ultimagal (7:52:51 PM): OMG there is a new naked brothers movie
FallnAngl651 (7:53:31 PM): ....hoorah?
Ultimagal (7:53:48 PM): lol i know, it sucks
FallnAngl651 (7:53:55 PM): haha, ive only seen one show
FallnAngl651 (7:54:04 PM): & it was at the birthday girls house
FallnAngl651 (7:54:04 PM): lol
Ultimagal (7:56:14 PM): nananananana batman
FallnAngl651 (7:56:27 PM): *puts on a cape and flies over the city*
FallnAngl651 (7:56:30 PM): woooooo
Ultimagal (7:56:37 PM): dude we should do that one day
FallnAngl651 (7:56:43 PM): YES
FallnAngl651 (7:56:49 PM): once we learn to fly
Ultimagal (7:56:52 PM): we'd look hot
FallnAngl651 (7:56:56 PM): haha
FallnAngl651 (7:56:57 PM): oh yea
FallnAngl651 (7:57:06 PM): people would be like
FallnAngl651 (7:57:07 PM): DAMN
FallnAngl651 (7:57:11 PM): look in the sky
FallnAngl651 (7:57:21 PM): its two amazing flying batpeople of awesomeness
Ultimagal (7:57:22 PM): IS IT A BIRD?
Ultimagal (7:57:24 PM): IS IT A PLANE?
Ultimagal (7:57:28 PM): NO ITS BREANNE AND KRISTEN
FallnAngl651 (7:57:32 PM): rofl
Ultimagal (7:57:50 PM): omg that would be so weird if we could fly
FallnAngl651 (7:57:59 PM): yes it would be
FallnAngl651 (7:58:03 PM): but convenient
FallnAngl651 (7:58:12 PM): no more traffic
FallnAngl651 (7:58:21 PM): the only problem would be getting run over by a plane
Ultimagal (7:58:30 PM): and getting pooped on by planes
FallnAngl651 (7:58:40 PM): omg
FallnAngl651 (7:58:45 PM): when you flush the toilets inside
FallnAngl651 (7:58:49 PM): does it really just fall out
Ultimagal (7:58:57 PM): ive always wondered that
FallnAngl651 (7:59:01 PM): cuz that seems gross to me
FallnAngl651 (7:59:04 PM): if youre like
FallnAngl651 (7:59:05 PM): walking
Ultimagal (7:59:06 PM): i know
Ultimagal (7:59:08 PM): XDD
FallnAngl651 (7:59:12 PM): and randomly all this shit hits you
Ultimagal (7:59:14 PM): omg i think the same exact thing
Ultimagal (7:59:16 PM): xDD
FallnAngl651 (7:59:16 PM): (literally :P)
FallnAngl651 (7:59:18 PM): haha
Ultimagal (7:59:19 PM): LOL
Ultimagal (7:59:27 PM): ahhhh theres shit all over me
Ultimagal (7:59:47 PM): i would laugh if shit fell on u one day ahaha
FallnAngl651 (7:59:55 PM): oh yea
FallnAngl651 (7:59:56 PM): well
FallnAngl651 (7:59:58 PM): i'd hug you
Ultimagal (8:00:03 PM): oh god
FallnAngl651 (8:00:03 PM): and get it all over you too
FallnAngl651 (8:00:08 PM): then who be laughing
Ultimagal (8:00:11 PM): and then we'd get into a cat fight in mud
FallnAngl651 (8:00:14 PM): (everyone else XD)
FallnAngl651 (8:00:15 PM): rofl
FallnAngl651 (8:00:16 PM): omg
Ultimagal (8:00:17 PM): and then everyone will watch
FallnAngl651 (8:00:21 PM): i hate how much mud there is at school
Ultimagal (8:00:25 PM): i know
Ultimagal (8:00:28 PM): i wanna throw it at u
FallnAngl651 (8:00:33 PM): wow
FallnAngl651 (8:00:36 PM): youre so nice
FallnAngl651 (8:00:50 PM): i'll know to wear a poncho to school from now on
Ultimagal (8:01:07 PM): yeah
Ultimagal (8:01:16 PM): i wonder who poked u in the stomach at school today
Ultimagal (8:01:18 PM): -wonders-
FallnAngl651 (8:01:21 PM): hmmm
FallnAngl651 (8:01:29 PM): mustve been one of those pesky little green men

Aaaaaand then a bit later

Ultimagal (8:04:17 PM): dude if i was in a magazine and had posters of me, would u put them on ur wall and like keep them there?
FallnAngl651 (8:04:22 PM): um
FallnAngl651 (8:04:28 PM): that'd be slightly creepy kristen
Ultimagal (8:04:34 PM): true
Ultimagal (8:04:39 PM): but it would be funny
Ultimagal (8:04:42 PM): id be everywhere
FallnAngl651 (8:04:42 PM): yes
FallnAngl651 (8:04:43 PM): but
FallnAngl651 (8:04:47 PM): if you were a man
FallnAngl651 (8:04:50 PM): i would consider it
Ultimagal (8:05:01 PM): fine, ill be a cross dresser